Bamboo in the Wind by Xia Chang (1388-1470)
"So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it."
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
Often, we "listen" only to the fact of our partner's force and direction -- not to "the whole of it."
As a result, we sometimes become "lost in opposition" -- trying to counter his force, or counter attack.
If you simply "Listen and Follow," then at some point, your partner will lose track of the distinction between his own center, and yours -- and he will move to reflect your intention.
This constitutes a "No Victory" Victory. You have won over your own need to win. And in so doing, you become able to direct your force, and his.
So this is a "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" Lesson. Simply do it. Do it some more. And keep on doing it until it becomes your standard of practice...